Emotions as Obstacles and Assets

From Peacebuilding

Contents 1 Purpose 2 Time 3 Participants 4 Materials 5 Process 6 Source 7 Note 8 Handout: Emotions as Obstacles in Negotiation 9 Handout: Emotions as Assets in Negotiation

Purpose

• To explore how emotions can be obstacles or assets in negotiation;
• To generate examples of emotions as obstacles and assets in negotiation;

Time

At least 45 minutes.

Participants

At least 6 participants (2 sub-groups with 3 participants each). The activity works better with a larger group.

Materials

• Copies of the handouts (see below);
• Paper and pencils for participants;
• Flip chart papers;
• Markers.

Process

I) Divide the plenary in sub-groups of equal size, with 3-7 participants in each.

II) Announce that half of the sub-groups will work on "how negative emotions can be obstacles toward reaching a wise agreement in negotiation" and the others will work on "how positive emotions can be assets in negotiation".

III) Distribute copies of the handout “Emotions as Obstacles in Negotiation” to half of the sub-groups and copies of the handout “Emotions as Assets in Negotiation” to the rest of the sub-groups. Announce that their task is explained in the the handout.

IV) Let the sub-groups start working and assign sufficient time for the task – at least 30-45 minutes.

V) After group work, invite the groups to report on their findings to the plenary. Boost discussion on each group's findings.

Source

Part of the text in the handouts has been adapted from Fisher, Roger and Shapiro, Daniel, Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate, New York: Viking, 2005, pp. 5-8.

Note

Alternatives to this process include:

• You can merge the two handouts and have each sub-group work on both obstacles and assets.

• After the IV) step of the process above described, you can invite each group that has worked on emotions has obstacles to merge with a group that has worked on emotions as assets, and invite them to share their findings.

Handout: Emotions as Obstacles in Negotiation

Emotions can be obstacles towards reaching a wise agreement in negotiation, in at least 3 ways:

• They can divert attention from substantive matters. When you get upset it becomes more difficult to deal with the substance of the negotiation: you are too busy dealing with your emotions. The other side too will have to deal with your emotions. The same goes when the other side gets upset: she – and you - will have to deal with her emotions, and you too. Thus, when emotions play, both sides' attention shifts from the substance at stake to protecting oneself and attacking the other.

• They can damage a relationship. Emotions can limit your capacity to think and act wisely. When you get angry, you may say or do something that damages the relationship. In a split second you can destroy a relationship (e.g. business, friendship, family) that has been developed over years!

• They can be used to exploit you. When you feel an emotion it shows. It is hard to maintain a “poker face” when anger, happiness, resentment or desire storm inside of you. When you cannot control your emotions, your words, face or body language will “tell” what you feel to the other side. And the other side may use this information to exploit you.

Your task:

1. Develop and articulate 3 examples that illustrate how emotions can be obstacles to reaching a wise agreement in negotiation. Refer to one or more of the three ways described above. Prepare to present your examples to the plenary.
2. Discuss and identify other ways emotions can be obstacles towards reaching a wise agreement in negotiation. Prepare to present and sustain your results to the plenary.

Handout: Emotions as Assets in Negotiation

Emotions an help us achieve a wise agreement and improve relationship in negotiation, in at least 3 ways:

• Positive emotions can help meet substantive interests. Positive emotions toward the other side can reduce fear and suspicion. They can help you work side by side with the other, focus together on the problems to solve and start looking at each other as colleagues, more than adversaries. With positive emotions, you might feel the confidence and trust to try out new ideas, without fearing that the other side will immediately take advantage of it. You will listen better, increasing your capacity to understand the other side's underlying interests, thus increasing your potential to reach an agreement that is mutually satisfactory and stable.

• Positive emotions can enhance a relationship. A person-to-person interaction can become enjoyable. With positive emotions towards the other you might come to enjoy negotiating and even develop some sense of camaraderie. Also, a strong relationship can allow you to disagree with the other to the point that both get tense, as you know that your relationship is strong and is able to get you through disagreements and tension.

• Positive emotions need not increase your risk of being exploited. With positive emotions there is a risk that, as you feel good toward the other side, you might act overconfidently or end up giving up too much, with an agreement that is not satisfactory to you. Though, you shouldn't inhibit positive emotions but just check with your head that the solution satisfies your interests.

Your task:

1. Develop and articulate 3 examples that illustrate how emotions can be assets in a negotiation. Refer to one or more of the three ways described above. Prepare to present your examples to the plenary.
2. Discuss and identify other ways emotions can be assets in a negotiation. Prepare to present and sustain your results to the plenary.